I was confiding to a small group I attend, that I had been feeling tired – and then I was stumbling over the best words to describe my feeling, with more clarity and accuracy.
With more attention, I realised that I used the words “I am tired” to cover a variety of different feelings, with a number of different needs arising. Here are those that I identified on closer inspection. Do you share these? Do you have more to add?
- I am sensing overwhelm and stress, I can’t cope in this moment and fatigue is my protective pattern that helps me keep safe. I need EMPATHY and UNDERSTANDING that I can cope in the present.
- I don’t want to – – – e.g. do all the things on my “to-do” list. I need CHOICE.
- I am bored. I need STIMULATION.
- My body is tired and heavy due to incomplete sleep. I need REST TIME.
- I notice sleepiness coming over me – I need AWARENESS of the stimulus that evoked this and CHOICE about regulating my state.
Do let me know if you resonate with any of these and if there are some more feelings and needs that look like “tired” and need attention.
Warm wishes for your presence and support for your needs and values.
Ron
Yes, this is a brilliant analysis. I also feel tired when I have unresolved grief and anger. By unresolved, I mean unacknowledged and suppressed. I don’t even know I’m feeling grief until I watch a sad film on TV and end up sobbing. “Why am I feeling tired?” is such a good question to ask myself. Sometimes it’s as simple as “because I’m dehydrated”